Do you choose a “word of the year” every year? I have for the last several, and to be honest I never really feel like I do or experience whatever the word is I choose. At least not satisfactorily.
Perfectionism is quite the thing, let me tell you. I don’t recommend it, really. But it’s definitely a proficient teacher. Perhaps a bit too proficient, at times.
However, 2023 was much different. Monumentally.
My word for 2023? RELEASE. Everything that does not serve me had to go. And boy did I release a lot of….crap. Some of it was physical but the majority of it was emotional and spiritual garbage I’ve dragged around with me for years.
So at the end of 2023 I felt compelled to choose the word WONDER. In my mind, I saw myself kind of sitting back and watching in wonder as seeds that I’ve planted grow and produce fruit.
I Didn’t Think About What Seeds Go Through, Though…
Do you know what happens when you plant a seed? Bury it in the earth? It goes into darkness, with literally the weight of the earth bearing down upon it. And at some point, something is activated deep within that little life-bearing parcel and it begins the arduous task of breaking open in order to grow.
That’s the part I didn’t consider.
The breaking open.
The effort involved to push that little sprout up, up, up through the weight of the world to break through into the light of day. Or, to push roots down deeply.
That is hard for a little seed, but that’s exactly what the seed is designed to do. Some do this in a short amount of time, others need longer to germinate.
And if the right conditions don’t exist – darkness, warmth, pressure, water – that seed can’t accomplish its purpose.
A New Definition For Wonder Year.
If you haven’t seen me on the socials lately or read my latest post – Can We Talk? I Need To Clear The Air… – you might not know that right now my family and I are going through The Big Hard. There’s a lot of challenges and unknowns and my ego has been having a moment for the last 3 weeks.
But, as I’ve stopped and really examined all of this Big Hard with curiosity, with the attitude of “what do I need to learn from this?” my understanding of how WONDER is an appropriate word for 2024 has changed drastically.
Sitting Back and Watching Doesn’t Mean Not Doing Anything.
While I didn’t think that I was just going to sit on my couch, eat bon bons, and watch as all the fruit grows and produces abundantly in my life this year, I’m understanding what it really means much more clearly.
It’s an internal posture of waiting with certainty. It’s having faith that everything works together for good, in divine timing. And knowing that while there may be things I need to do, forcing the outcomes is not one of those things.
The message I keep getting in my quiet time is “let things happen as they will.” That’s not been easy for me, and the last 3 weeks have really brought it home that I have very little control over any of this.
What I can control is my attitude, my thoughts, the words I speak, and the actions I take toward others. You know that analogy about the sponge? How you don’t know what’s in it until it’s squeezed?
Yeah, The Big Hard is like that. You really get to see what’s inside yourself and others when Life is putting the Big Squeeze on you.
And some of what’s been coming out for me I’m not happy with. But it’s entirely up to me to change that. It’s no one else’s responsibility but mine to deal with my Stuff. And to not squeeze that yuck out on to the people around me.
Let The Wonders Commence…They Will Anyway, Right?
The Wonders will happen this year. I planted seeds and expect a harvest. An abundant harvest. But did I tend to those seeds well? Did I water them and keep the weeds out? It will become evident as the year unfolds what kind of harvest ripens.
Whether The Wonders look like I expect or not, they will roll in when they will this year. There is not much I can do about that but mind my words and actions. Control what I can and let go of the rest.
Trust in the Divine Plan my Creator has for me and my family right now. Even if it doesn’t make sense now…and may not ever…it is all ultimately for our good.
Sometimes, knowing this feels like taking a deep breath. Other times it stirs up that anxious, swirly feeling inside…the one that makes you feel like you’re falling into a dark abyss. Even when that happens, I just try to close my eyes and enjoy the feeling of freefalling.
It’s a little scary but also exhilarating.
Because eventually you find your wings and fly, unburdened by cares and worries and fully trusting in the One who has designed all of your days.
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